MOVED. to http://brainlessoboist.blogspot.com cause of the recent weird stuff going on about the hyphens and stuff in the URLs. heeh. i hope this makes it, better? heeh. see youall there!

~ting.

OHGOSH KOALAS ARE LIKE THE ADORABLE-ST THINGS ON EARTH OKAY. I MEAN. JUST WATCH THE VIDEO AND YOU'LL JUST KNOW IT.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22417

[i think too many things have happened, i cant blog anymore.]

i couldnt bear. i couldnt bear to watch it die. i really couldnt. but i did. and i was holding it. when it died. i couldnt bear to see it suffer. it could barely breathe. it was struggling. it was suffering. and i could do nothing to help ease its pain. all i could do was hold it. hold it close. and remember those moments forever. it spent the last half hour of its life in my hands. it would flip, roll. to find a comfortable position. it was breathing so hard, and so fast. it looked like it was in pain. it couldnt bear the pain. the poor thing. before it died. it tried to scream. its mouth wide open, but no sound coming out. it tried three times. and then it just. stopped breathing. stopped moving. its suffering ended. it would be in its happy place. somewhere theres no more suffering, no more sadness. i dont know why i was crying so badly. i dont know why im still crying now. but i guess, thats how it is. it was infected. for so long. it was probably suffering too much. but i miss it. i miss my little hamster. i miss holding it against my cheek, feeling it squirm around. feeling its soft warm fur brushing against me. feeling its little life in my hands... its all gone. i hope i dont have to watch any other thing die... its just too heartwrenching.

im down with a cold or something. and i feel pathetic and my head hurts. and i dont feel like going for band tomorrow. i guess thats how i always feel during the holidays huh. hahah.

my nose is blocked. and im coughing up phlegm. and its disgusting. i hope i dont faint tomorrow.

ahh this is getting horrible. why am i sick every holiday? so saddening. mum says its stress...

i hope jiejie gets better.

~limting (:

hahah. somebody wanted me to blog something right.? hahah. okay. i will.!

band today was. tiring! i was so sleeeeepy larh. cause mr o was going on and on about sunrise and sunset and moonrise and moonset and sunrise and sunset, and moonrise and moonset, and i guess you get the point. that kinda reminded me of the song. 'the rains came down and the floods came up, the rains came down and the floods came up, the rains came down and the floods went up, but the house on the rock stood firm.'

ms s kinda held back oboes and flutes. and i was too overly stressed out. and she 'renamed' section 9-10 as 'the part where the oboes keep making mistakes.' joy wasnt here today, was really scary larh, cause its like left two of us, and when one of us stops, the other is left all alone. its kinda scary larh, and i became really soft. i think the reed is dying larh. but thankfully, ms s is giving us new reeds! hurray! i hope she remembers though. hahah. getwellsoon, abi and qi~!

hmms. i shall stop here. (:

~ting(:

i have found out the names of the two saxophone juniors who help with the sec1 books! viola and clara. hahah. so cool la. at least now im not so busy. had to give out two sets of scores today. so messy la. [and it had to be raining... no. POURING.] had to be running along wet corridors, and the rain drowned out the sounds made by the sections so i didnt know where they were... and the scores CANNOT get wet, and it was so terrible. and there were missing scores. and i had to bind a conductors score [i hope it doesnt fall apart] omg. what if it falls apart? ahhhhhhhH~

tomorrow we have a full day of band practise again. cant believe it man. id probably sian diao lorh. i hope it doesnt rain again. its terrible when it rains. makes the whole atmosphere moody. and more condensation in the instruments...

theres a sinking feeling in my heart. dont ask me why. something just seems to be wrong.

i want to go sit outside my window again... but its all wet... and everyone is at home, so i cant. haii. shall go be stupid now.

Sometimes I'd wished I disappear. Run away from this place and head to somewhere where there's solitude and serenity. A place that shuts me off from the world. A place where I'd get to be all alone. Let running around the rain and watching the sunrise and set be part of my daily routine.

But a wish is all it is. theres no such place, is there? maybe i should fly to the moon. id be the only human there! but i wont survive. maybe that would be better. heaven should be a wonderful place... right?

and yet there are things on earth i cling to. like music. like friends. like family. maybe id see all these where i go to.

i just need to be happy. i just need time, and space. something, no one here seems to care about giving.

and there seems to be so many rules around. like no computer after 9.30pm. infact, being IN BED AND ASLEEP BY 9.30PM.

ohwells, isnt that just how life is?

things are too different. i dont adapt that well you know.

You lift me up
when i am down
you lead me straight
not round and round

you give me hope
and light the way
and definately
brighten up the day

you make me smile
when i am sad
and tell me the truth
whether good or bad

you helped me stnad
upon my own two feet
and give a smile
to anyone i meet.

you give me life
and joy and love
and peace descends
just like a dove

when im with you
everything comes clear
my eyes can see
and my ears can hear

three short minutes
and ill have to part
but you know i still love you
deep in my heart.

-----------------------------------

poetry is back. nice eh? wrote this one during the summary exam. there always seems to be alot of time during english exams. (: hahah. i didnt do too well for english btw. i feel like a big fat failure in life. its just plain evil la.

i just cant believe it la.